The Overwhelm: Chronic Pain and the Tide of Too Much

Living with chronic pain is like navigating a stormy sea. Some days, the waters are calm, and you can glimpse the sun peeking through the clouds. Other days, the waves crash over you, leaving you gasping for air and struggling to stay afloat. One of the most insidious and debilitating aspects of this condition is the feeling of overwhelm that can wash over you when the pain is relentless, and life's demands continue to pile up. I know that feeling well.

This blog post is dedicated to exploring that feeling of overwhelm, understanding its roots, and charting a course towards calmer waters. I'll delve into the unique challenges faced by those with chronic pain, the specific triggers that can lead to feeling overwhelmed, and most importantly, the coping strategies that can offer a lifeline when the tide of "too much" threatens to pull you under.

Drowning in the Everyday: Why Chronic Pain Leads to Overwhelm

Chronic pain is not just physical; it's a complex web that entangles your body, mind, and spirit. The constant discomfort can drain your energy reserves, making even simple tasks feel monumental. Sleep, that precious balm for the weary, often becomes elusive, leaving you feeling perpetually exhausted and vulnerable. The way chronic pain weaves itself and seeps into every part of your life leaves you with so little bandwidth that even simple things can become overwhelming.

Beyond the physical toll, there's the emotional burden. Chronic pain can lead to feelings of isolation, frustration, and even depression. It can strain relationships, limit your ability to work or pursue hobbies, and chip away at your sense of self. When you're constantly battling pain, it's easy to feel like you're losing control of your life, which can be incredibly overwhelming.

Here are some specific triggers that can amplify the feeling of overwhelm when you live with chronic pain:

• Sensory Overload: Everyday noises, bright lights, loud music, and even social interactions can feel intensely worrying and agitating and contribute to a sense of being overwhelmed.
• Decision Fatigue: When your mind and body are already taxed by pain, making even simple decisions can feel exhausting. I often struggle with making decisions. If asked on the spot to decide on one thing or the other, my mind goes blank and I don’t know what to decide.
• Social Pressures: The expectation to "push through" or "look fine" can add immense pressure and make you feel like you're failing. I struggle with this too. I worry about disappointing or upsetting others and missing out on great memories, but also need to look after myself. The pressure I feel to push through is mostly of my own doing. I feel like I’ve failed my family and friends because I can’t show up to everything or be there the way that I want to.

• Unpredictability: Chronic pain can be unpredictable, flaring up unexpectedly and disrupting your plans. This lack of control can contribute to anxiety and a sense of being overwhelmed. This is especially the case with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS), which I’ve had since 2008. It is unrelenting and gets more intense with cooler, damper weather, icy temperatures and a high humidity content in the air. In some ways my days are dictated by the weather, which adds to the unpredictable nature of CRPS.
• Medical Appointments: Navigating the healthcare system, attending appointments, and managing medications can be a logistical and emotional burden. When I was first diagnosed, I was at the doctor and my pain specialist 2-3 times a week, in a busy part of Vancouver, I had tests to go to, physiotherapy, and therapy. My kids were 1.5 and 3 at the time and it made things completely overwhelming and difficult.

What Overwhelm Feels Like with Chronic Pain

Imagine a glass of water. Each task, each decision, each twinge of pain adds another drop to that glass. When you're healthy, the glass has plenty of room. But when you live with chronic pain, the glass is already half full. It doesn't take much to make it overflow.

Overwhelm in the context of chronic pain can manifest in many ways:

• Mental Exhaustion: A feeling of mental fatigue, like your brain is shrouded in fog. Difficulty concentrating, remembering things, and making decisions.
• Emotional Reactivity: Feeling irritable, tearful, easily frustrated or down on yourself.
• Physical Tension: Increased muscle tension, headaches, and even digestive issues.
• Withdrawal: A desire to isolate yourself and avoid social interaction.
• Anxiety and Panic: Racing thoughts, difficulty breathing, and a sense of impending doom.

Navigating the Storm: Coping Strategies for Overwhelm

While the experience of overwhelm can be intense and debilitating, it's crucial to remember that you are not powerless. There are strategies and tools that can help you navigate these turbulent waters and find moments of calm amidst the storm.

• Prioritize and Simplify: Identify your most essential tasks and let go of the rest. Break down large tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. I find this especially helpful, and by doing this, it helps my self esteem, because instead of failing to accomplish my big goals, I break them down into little goals that I can accomplish, which makes me feel better about myself.
• Mindfulness and Meditation: Practicing mindfulness can help you stay grounded in the present moment and reduce the tendency to get swept away by anxious thoughts. This takes practice. I really like doing the meditations in both Apple Fitness+ and Balance. I also recently started listening to audiobooks, which I find meditative.
• Gentle Movement: Even gentle forms of exercise like yoga or walking can help release tension, improve mood, and reduce pain. This is something I thought I’d never be able to attain and my small exercise routine has changed my whole life. I do a 10 minute stretching or exercise video 7 days a week, and on my good days, I do 2, with one being mid-morning and one in the later afternoon. Some days I can only do 1, and that’s ok. My goal is to do 1 a day.
• Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. Acknowledge your struggles and forgive yourself for your limitations. I have worked really hard on this for myself. With CBT I have become way more compassionate and less judgmental of myself and it’s done wonders for my mental health.

• Connect with Others: Reach out to friends, family, or support groups. Sharing your experiences can help you feel less alone and gain valuable insights and support. I find this especially important for me as living with chronic pain is very isolating and can be lonely, so my social connections are important.
• Seek Professional Help: Don't hesitate to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide you with tools and strategies to manage pain, cope with stress, and improve your overall well-being. If you can, find one that specializes in chronic illness. My therapist trained in a spinal cord and trauma hospital and knew the unrelenting and permanent nature of chronic pain.
• Pain Management Techniques: Explore different pain management techniques such as medication, physical therapy, acupuncture, or massage. Finding effective ways to manage your pain can significantly reduce the feeling of overwhelm. Unfortunately some of these treatments can be traumatic, and extremely painful, as has been the case for me.
• Create a Soothing Environment: Make your home a sanctuary. Dim the lights, play calming music, and surround yourself with things that bring you comfort. This is so important for your mental health. To have a space you feel safe in is crucial to your healing journey.
• Say No: It's okay to say no to requests and commitments that drain your energy. Protect your time and prioritize your well-being. This is something I have a hard time with as I don’t like disappointing anyone. I struggle with having good boundaries.
• Celebrate Small Victories: Acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small. This can help boost your mood and build resilience. It also helps build your self esteem. I make time every day for my gratitude practice which includes celebrating my victories, no matter how small.

Finding Your Anchor: The Journey to Calm

Living with chronic pain is a journey, not a destination. There will be days when the waves of overwhelm crash over you, but it's important to remember that you are not alone. By cultivating self-compassion, seeking support, and implementing coping strategies, you can learn to navigate the storm and find moments of peace and even joy amidst the challenges.

Remember, you are stronger than you think. You are not defined by your pain. And even in the midst of overwhelm, there is always hope for a calmer sea.

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12 Quotes On Resilience That Can't Help But Inspire You

The best resilience quotes resonate with something deep inside the human spirit. They endure because they touch the parts of us that are hurting, that are trying, the parts that say “Maybe I’m not enough for this.” Below is a collection of quotes I’ve come across that convey resilience and that can't help but leave you feeling inspired.

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The Ghost of You: Chronic Pain and the Shadow of Comparison

Chronic pain is a relentless thief. It steals your energy, your sleep, and often, your joy. But one of its most insidious crimes is how it forces you to live in the shadow of comparisons, constantly measuring yourself against an idealized version of who you "should" be or the ghost of who you once were.

This constant comparison is a trap, a cycle of self-inflicted suffering that erodes self-esteem and distorts your perception of self. It's a battle fought on two fronts:

1. The "Should" Self:

This is the image of yourself sculpted by societal expectations, internalized beliefs, and even well-meaning advice. It's the you that should be able to power through the pain, maintain the same social calendar, and achieve all the goals you set before chronic pain entered the picture.

• Examples:

• "I should be able to keep up with my friends on that hike."

• "I should be able to work a full day without needing a rest."

• "I should be able to handle household chores like I used to."

This "should" self is a harsh judge, whispering accusations of weakness and failure. It ignores the reality of your condition, setting you up for disappointment and self-criticism.

2. The "Past" Self:

Before chronic pain changed your life, you may have been a marathon runner, a social butterfly, or simply someone who could navigate daily life with ease. This "past" self haunts your present, a constant reminder of what you've lost.

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• Examples:

• "I used to be able to dance all night."

• "I used to have so much energy."

• "I used to be able to travel without worrying about pain."

This comparison to your past self can lead to feelings of grief, loss, and even resentment towards your own body. It can make you feel like a stranger to yourself, disconnected from your own history.

The Impact on Self-Esteem and Self-Perception:

Living under the weight of these comparisons takes a heavy toll. Your self-esteem plummets as you constantly fall short of these unrealistic standards. You may start to see yourself as:

• Broken: Feeling like your body has betrayed you.

• Incapable: Believing you can't do the things you once loved.

• A burden: Feeling like you're holding others back or relying too much on their support.

This distorted self-perception seeps into every aspect of your life, affecting how you set boundaries and navigate relationships. You may:

• Overextend yourself: Trying to prove you're still "capable" despite the pain.

• Isolate yourself: Withdrawing from social situations to avoid feeling like a burden or facing reminders of your limitations.

• Struggle to ask for help: Feeling like you need to "tough it out" on your own.

Breaking Free: Solutions and Strategies:

Escaping the comparison trap requires conscious effort and self-compassion. Here are some strategies to help you break free:

• Challenge the "Shoulds": Question the source of these expectations. Are they realistic? Are they based on your current needs and limitations?

• Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend in a similar situation. 

• Focus on Your Strengths: Chronic pain may have changed your life, but it hasn't erased your strengths and abilities. Identify and celebrate what you can do.

• Grieve Your Losses: Allow yourself to grieve the changes in your life and the loss of your "past" self. This is a necessary step in moving forward.

• Set Realistic Goals: Adjust your expectations and set achievable goals that honor your current limitations.

• Seek Support: Connect with others who understand the challenges of living with chronic pain. Support groups, therapy, and online communities can provide a safe space to share your experiences and learn coping strategies.

• Redefine Your Identity: Chronic pain is a part of your life, but it doesn't define you. Explore new interests, discover new passions, and embrace the person you are becoming.

Living with chronic pain is a journey of adaptation and self-discovery. It's about learning to live with the pain, not in spite of it. By breaking free from the comparison trap, you can reclaim your self-esteem, navigate your life with greater confidence, and find a sense of peace and acceptance amidst the challenges.