The Spark of Inspiration
Last summer, in June of 2023, I went to our local bookstore, unsure of what I was looking for, but hoping to find something interactive for me and my teenage daughter to do together over the summer. I'm a notebook and journal fanatic, and while browsing the selection, a mother-daughter guided journal caught my eye. The idea of creating a treasured keepsake together appealed to me, especially since I was struggling at the time. I love doing projects with my kids and building positive memories. Eagerly, that afternoon, I began filling out the first page, unaware of the profound impact this journal would have on my life. It ignited a passion for journaling within me.
Discovering the Power of Journaling
As I began, answering the prompts and questions, I discovered a love for the structure of this new to me journaling process. I began keeping a simple, daily journal in 2019 when I turned 40, but it was very basic. All it was was me writing down in point form what I did each day and with who. Just little tidbits of my day. I kept track of the art and cards I was working on, chores and what we had for dinner. Things like that. It lacked structure, and didn't prompt deep reflection, it was simply me itemizing what I did each day. This new journaling method I was beginning was different. I was different. I was answering questions and prompts that were about topics I’d either thought about lots, or not thought about at all, and I felt my distress begin to decrease. Carving out parts of my day to write whatever prompt was next, I found the process calming and soothing. I've developed my mindfulness practice since I attended the Certified Zentangle Teacher certification, and had a name for the feeling of calm and stillness I experienced drawing and writing down my thoughts added another element to my mindfulness routine.
The Journey to Daily Journaling
Excited by my newfound passion, I went online to search for other guided journals. Turns out this is a popular self-care activity, and I had lots to choose from. I discovered two journals that interested me, and added many more to my wishlist.These first journals I ordered were: “Soul Therapy, A 365 day journal for self exploration, healing and reflection”,by Jacqueline Kademian (Soul Therapy by Jacqueline Kademian), and “Burn After Writing” by Sharon Jones (Burn After Writing by Sharon Jones). I was stoked and pumped and could hardly wait for them to arrive.
With my new journals in hand, I quickly established a journaling routine where I set aside some time each day to ensure consistent daily writing. I found the process reassuring and calming, and the structured questions clicked with my brain’s need for order and routine. At the time I didn’t know that it would become so important and meaningful to me, and a crucial part of my emotional health and wellbeing. I think it was what saw me through my mental breakdown last year.
Overcoming Adversity
Honestly, my journaling routine couldn’t have come at a better time. Starting around New Year’s 2023, my struggles intensified to a point where I couldn’t cope. Two accidents, less than a year apart in 2008 and 2009, had left me with enduring physical pain and accumulating physical and mental trauma. Year after year, trauma piled on trauma, and my pain was relentless. an 8/10 was a good day. By 2023, the pain was unbearable, and despite my efforts to manage it, I eventually reached a breaking point. The pent-up emotional energy exploded into a severe mental breakdown. It was a long, traumatic ordeal, and I felt lost, overwhelmed, and unable to cope. What had worked for me in the past was no longer effective. My brain felt different, altered, and I was on autopilot day by day, doing my best not to sink. If you remember from earlier posts, our Goldendoodle also had 12 puppies last summer, and while they gave me something positive to focus on, and watching the miracle of life and animal instinct kick in was incredible to be a part of, they were a lot of work and took energy I didn't have to spare. They took up a big chunk of my time, used up whatever energy I could muster up, and for 14 weeks I lived and breathed almost nothing but puppies, and medical appointments for myself.
Around Christmas and New Year's, a shift occurred within me. The focus of 2024 became my recovery journey, rebuilding my mental health, and building new personal foundations. I also felt the need to reinvent myself creatively, rebranding as meredithhutton79, as an artist, craftsperson, writer and chronic pain advocate.
Beginning My Exploration With Journaling
In the middle of my breakdown, I became increasingly grateful for having started a formal journaling practice. Honestly, I believe the breakdown might have been even more severe without journaling as a structured outlet. Writing in guided journals provided a sense of calm amidst my fragile mental state, allowing me to begin processing the deeply rooted medical and physical trauma that had impacted my mental health.
I had endured multiple struggles. I had lived with chronic pain-related medical and physical trauma due to my chronic pain. I had undergone countless torturous medical procedures and treatments that left me sobbing and begging them to stop. The thin walls meant my distress could be heard throughout the waiting room. I still tear up when I experience intrusive thoughts and flashbacks about some of the most traumatizing procedures I went through. Nerve blocks, dry needling my neck and back, dragging sharp objects down my legs, checking reflexes and even scans where I reacted poorly to the dye used, are some of the procedures and treatments I had. The medical procedure that was my worst experience was when a pain specialist subjected me to a nerve conduction test, by transmitting electrical currents through various points on my legs using a device resembling a miniature cattle prod. The ordeal was excruciating. I have never felt such intense burning jolts and explosions of pain before, and they continued despite my pleas, me ugly crying and begging him stop.
In addition, I live with daily physical trauma as a consequence of my chronic pain. The reality is that every time I take a step or move my legs, searing, excruciating electrical jolts and sharp, stabbing pains shoot up my legs, and continue to shoot up my legs, in waves, radiating from my ankles up into my thighs. These constant fluctuations of excruciating pain are traumatizing, occurring all day, every day, and this leaves me exhausted. I was at my breaking point, both physically and mentally. I tend to internalize my pain, and don't often complain about it. However, I believe I did myself no favours suppressing my pain and not processing it effectively. Living with daily physical trauma that accumulated for the past 15 years, was a significant factor contributing to my breakdown. I believe writing in my journals saved me by helping me process some of the trauma and distress that had been building like a slow burn since my first accident in 2008. Falling into this hobby, almost accidently, was perfectly timed. I needed a healthy way to cope with the overwhelming amount of traumas and this was one of the ways I thought would do that.
Rediscovering Creativity
As I recovered, I developed a deep passion for journaling, integrating it into my daily life. The practice helped me focus on the bigger picture of healing, and writing became therapeutic. To prioritize my mental health, I took a break from my art and card business and turned to coloring as a creative outlet. It required minimal decision-making, especially when using color-by-number books. Similar to journaling, coloring offered a meditative focus, allowing me to escape overwhelming pain. I enjoyed both activities for different reasons. Listening to meditations on Apple Fitness Plus or Balance while coloring or drawing became a favorite pastime. My brain craved calm, and responded well to the structure of guided thoughts. and the thought of running my business again felt overwhelming. My brain wasn't ready for anything beyond self-care and recovery.
As my recovery progressed, I felt renewed energy for my art and creativity. It was exciting to see my creative spark reignited. With improvements in my overall well-being, I felt ready to take on a fresh start, redefining my artistic identity and expanding my product offerings. My passion for journaling and its benefits inspired me to create new products by upcycling my hand drawn cards into journal that reflected my current interests. I hoped to share the positive impact of journaling with others, especially those experiencing chronic pain.
The Birth of Galia-Notes
This brings me to my latest line of products, "Galia-Notes," born from a spontaneous afternoon project. I printed themed journaling pages and stationery from a British digital collage club I belong to, and stapled them together to create a small journal. As a self-proclaimed journal and notebook enthusiast, I'm always seeking creative writing vessels. This experience sparked an idea: producing handmade journals for local and online sales. The concept excited me, reigniting my creativity, of which I worried I’d lost. In my previous business, I created all-occasion art cards and fine art, and some crafts. Brainstorming led to the idea of using these cards and my artwork as journal covers, of which I will be printing and manufacturing myself, together with a binding machine.
I also began coloring my "Galiano Island" coloring pages, created in 2022, for potential use on products like t-shirts, tote bags, cosmetic bags, pillow covers, home decor, prints, cards, and journal covers. I’m known for not doing the same thing twice, and as such, most of my work, whether it be fine art or cards, ornaments or other crafts, are all one of a kind and one offs. With these created for the sole purpose of making prints, or putting them on other products, it left me with lots of options. With twelve images, they were perfect for my first big "Galia-Notes" project: an undated wall calendar featuring the colored pages and a custom grid I design. I planned to purchase the equipment and supplies to print and bind these calendars myself to reduce costs. "Galia-Notes" is a labor of love born from a challenging period in my life. I look forward to continuing my healing journey by creating handmade calendars, journals, notebooks, and planners featuring my artwork and cards. Embracing journaling naturally transformed my life, and I'm eager to share this passion with the world.
A Vision for the Future
What began as a simple search for a bonding activity with my daughter blossomed into a lifeline.
Galia-Notes - coming soon!
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